It’s really a magazine
for people who
want to know
more about training
a boxer puppy.
It covers topics
such as “6 Games for Good manners.”
“No More Clowning Around:
Serious Solutions for Everyday Issues:
Jumping, Pulling, Barking, Chewing, and more!”
Now this magazine
has become a source
of contention in our house.
The more Jill reads it,
the more we hear about
what she reads.
She begins every sentence
with the phrase, “The book says …”
The book says,
“Do not let them jump on you.
Do not give them any attention
until all four feet are on the ground.”
“Do not allow them on the furniture unless invited.”
we’re taking the puppies on a walk
and I discovered another truth
about puppy training.
I realize that not only
is she training the puppies,
she’s training me.
One block into our walk,
she says to me,
as I’m allowing Izzy
to walk in front of me,
“The book says not to let them
walk in front of you.”
I said, “First off it’s not a book.
It’s a magazine.
You tell the book
to come help you walk the puppies.”
This is when she
rephrased her comment,
almost as if the book told her
I would say this.
She says, “We are in training
as much as the puppies are,
and the ‘Book said,
The heart of the champion
beats inside your Boxer,
and with our guidance
he’ll be a contender too.’”
We were rounding the
corner headed toward
First Baptist when she said,
“No. It’s true. The book said
to think about how
a real boxer trains.
He learns from his trainer
when to jab, when to defend,
what to eat and
which exercises to do.
Your Boxer is the same.
He knows when to bark,
jump, and chase,
but he doesn’t know
when it is appropriate to do it.”
“Please,” I said. “Give me a break.”
We’d reached the park
by the Old State Bank.
She turned and said,
“Show me how you walked
both of them at the same time
while I was gone to Cancun.”
I said, “It’s in the book
under the title:
“How to Walk Both Puppies
If Your Wife Runs Off to Cancun.”
“The book doesn’t have that article,” she said.
“That’s right,” I said.
“You don’t have to live
by a book to know
how to train puppies.”
“Believe me,” she said.
“You need the book.”
And I think this is what
perturbs me about the book.
I don’t like being forced
into its mentality where Boxers
are like Prize fighters.
But the book works.
That’s for sure.
Today, Jill asked where her
book was because
she’d lost it.
We told her we
didn’t know,
but I know,
and I’m not telling.
